just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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