you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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