So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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