okay pat passed out under dana's car
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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