doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
