I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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