You just made me feel so damn special
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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