i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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