I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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