I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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