Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
