Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
