There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize