I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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