We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
