So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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