Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
