Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
