Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
