are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
