you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
