i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm too high and old for this...
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
