Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
