Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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