Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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