I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
