Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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