Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize