I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
