11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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