Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
