Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
