Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
even my farts smell like vagina
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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