She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
