i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
