i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
