we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize