I skipped work to stalk him.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize