At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
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