It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
