It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you traded sex for a burrito?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
