I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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