He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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