is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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