it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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