I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
