I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
