Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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