craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
