In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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