Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
