bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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