So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
