my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
