So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
