high people should be assigned attendants
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
