so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
