Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
