she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
