I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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