at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
