Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I love you.
Bad choice
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
