We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
