Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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