Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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