I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
