Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
